High Rise Tenant Relocation of Avian Residences under Asymmetric Power Relationships:

Bye-Bye Birdie


David Axelrod, Edwin Milan

Rutgers University, Spring 1992

ABSTRACT: No nest, no bird

INTRODUCTION: We had a bird in the upstairs libray. It's gone. We explore the reasons why.

LITERATURE REVIEW: "The sky is falling" (Chicken Little) and " I TOT I TAW A PUDDY TAT" (Tweety Bird [1950]).

THEORY: Let X be the bird. Let Yi be th i-th egg. Let Z be the nest. The dynamic process of a cellegiate group with preference cycles obviously leads to voting rules which are dictatorial. Refer to this associated X as "Big Bird."

EMPIRICAL RESULT: The dictator obviously prefers eviction of the Y's. Look out the window.

CONCLUSION: The evolutionary implications are that birds will become intelligent enough, under repeated games, to be able to sty in the library as graduate students, and, eventually, faculty.

REFERENCES: Little, Chicken: Unpublished dissertation

Bird, Tweety: From Looney Tunes

Acknowledgements: Authors wish to thank Cluck-U-Chicken for the catering and Alfred Hitchcock for his seminal work on birds.